(i hate sharing the terrible art! But hey, no sense giving you a false impression of my abilities either.)
A joyful shout.
You're not hiding that. That's not just between you and God. That's public. Try making a joyful shout without others noticing. Gonna be pretty difficult unless you're in the klondike. Maybe my brother Ballisticat could do it in his machine shop when all the machine's are running but i'm guessing someone would still notice. Worship is public. Those who are ashamed of Jesus now, Jesus will be ashamed of at the judgment. (Mark 8, Luke 9) And let's face it. How can you say you love Jesus and still be embarrassed by him? He's not your weird uncle. He's not that awkward brother-in-law or the family black sheep. How can you be embarrassed by your love of him or his love of you? Why be embarrassed of love at all? Only if you totally misunderstand his love, that's how! Only if you misunderstand your need! You need a savior! Not a maid. Not a therapist. Not a helper. You are not treading water here, you are drowning! Without hope of rescue unless Jesus jumps into your cesspit and pulls you out!
And he does! He didn't just throw you clear, he died in your cesspit! For your cesspit! And God resurrected him into a living spring of fresh, clean water! He has washed you! You are clean before God. You look and smell like Jesus! Baby fresh and rosy pink! Or glistening bronze! Let's not be racist here. You are beautiful to him, not as you were! You were drowning in your own filth, remember? Who's gonna love that? But as He has made you! He doesn't save you and leave you in the filth, he saves you and cleanses you and brings you out and starts changing you!
"Yet now Yahweh, you are our father; we are the clay and you are our potter, and we all are the work of your hand." Is 64
"So I went down to the house of the potter and look, there he was doing work at the potter’s wheels. And the vessel that he was making with the clay was spoiled in the hand of the potter, so he made again another vessel, as it was right in the eyes of the potter to make." Jer 18
Jesus is not a curio for your corner cabinet in a house you made. Jesus is the cornerstone which smashes your silly Eeyore pile of sticks stuck in sand and sets himself up as the new rock, the new foundation of a new house which HE is building. It sounds like you get destroyed and believe me, it feels that way at times too but unless he builds the house, you labor in vain. And what he is building is not anathema to you, it is the truer you! What you were meant to be! What you would choose to be if you only knew to choose it! He who knitted you together knows what you are better than you do. What you will not fully be until he comes again and raises us up to be with him. Glorified in His glory! Reflecting Him! Truly, truly i tell you, you will shout for joy then!