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Tuesday, November 14, 2006

toot!

Move over Luciano,
Step aside Placido,
Am-scray Andrea,

Here comes Il Scruffo.

When the What-Ifs come a'flutterin, with their whispers of agita, they can add one more could-have-been to their repertoire: Opera Singer.

Yeah, i know, and believe me, i have probed my pumpkin for soft spots just to make sure i didn't whack my braincase against something and lost the memory of the impact in the impact. Nah, it's true, God has given me a rather projectable voice that some strange people are apparently tone deaf enough to enjoy the sound of. And one (who actually had training, what does that say for our education system here in the land of the freaks and the home of the depraved?) one former music instructor actually told me that with training i could have been something. Can you picture that? Me, the very poster child of piratical posery on stage in a tux? That very image is worth the price of admission.

Now, i don't bring this up to toot my own horn. Lord knows i have no room for tooting. Nope, no tootroom here. Nary a toot. (You know what i just realized? Toot is fun to say. Toot, toot, toot, hmm, better check for those mushy spots again.) i bring this up as an intro to the idea that God in his infinite grace and mercy has granted me something that i have prayed for ad nauseum:

contenment.

Much of my dissatisfaction with life and living has come from my inability to figure out what to do with me. This fleshy lump of raw material and hodge-podge goulash of natural talents that my more mobile soul is chained to for the time being has often been the conundrum that has kept me up late into the wee hours. What was i made for? What am i supposed to be doing? Why am i not happy doing what i'm doing now? How can i use that? What's that mushy spot doing there?

The one question that never seems to occur to me in any way that seems feasable is "What if i'm already on the path?" i'm not saying that i am fully reaching my potential at this very moment. But what if God was more patient than me and more wise and in control of everything?

Where would i be then? What would i be doing?
Probably writing to y'all about it.
Toodles.

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