Loons to Gulls

Two vacations in less than a month.  A week in Canuckada fishing with the Ballyhoo Gang, reinforced by Papa Panda and Unca Bubba and a long weekend at the beach with the Fricken Familia.  It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.  We must be stronger cause we didn't die.  Despite storms, our own cooking, restaurant cooking, an outbreak of the Frumps, chubikinis, plywood tables passed off as 'beds,' killer moss-kweetos, touching fish, Jersey drivers, Canadian drivers, New Yorkers, and Deleware road systems (which i believe are just run-off from New Jersey--Traffic Circles fercryinowtlowd!), toll roads,

 toll roads, 

toll roads (you have to say it three times because that's how many booths you hit in a ten mile stretch!  They're designed that way though.  The plot is to get us to buy EZ pass so that we're used to the idea of being charged money without noticing just for driving over arbitrary, invisible lines.  Pretty soon they'll bang your wallet for fifty cents every time you leave your driveway.  And another dime for crossing your own threshold.)  Yes, we survived.  And hopefully we're wiser too.  A few things we may or may not have learned...

• the Ballyhoo gang don't like to touch fish
• if the nice young man at the front desk shows you a menu BEFORE showing you the dining room, he is probably trying to find a polite way of saying you walked into the wrong, damn restaurant.  They're not being snooty, they're being kind, you won't enjoy the atmosphere any more than the regular patrons will downwind of your fishy hide.
• seventies architecture is poop.  Block and poured concrete may be 'modern' and 'functional' but as soon as the paint starts to peel those spiffy hotels just start looking like government sponsored low-income tenements.
• Russians seem amused and pleasantly surprised when you thank them in their native language, Latinos less so and Canuckleheads just give you a pained expression of long suffering.  They've dealt with Yanks before, eh.
• i don't know why everyone's so concerned with self-esteem, just go to the beach and look at the swim suits, there isn't much of a self-esteem problem near as i can tell.  i'd have to say we need to start ridiculing people a little more.
• that if the Ballyhoo gang don't have a television or a video game they go into this eerie state of hibernation.  They must do this in order to survive the drought of mindless entertainment.  Their bodies seem to relax and they read a lot.  In one instance, i saw one of them drawing!  Must do more research.
• that i'd actually forgot how many stars there are
• night fishing, while profitable, is a whole nother endeavor entirely.
• it's also creepy
• that i don't love people the way God loves people.  i'm actually suffering from a nightmare where i get to heaven and its a lot like the line at an amusement park with noise and lights and humanity in all its inhuman variations, dropping litter on the floor and not caring and screaming, spoiled kids and noise and lights and cigarette smoke and stomach aches and so on ad nauseum.  And God says something to me like, "if you can't love these, then you don't love Me."
• that i really wish the kingdom of God was the beautiful scenery He made for us and not so much the people he put in it.  i find that a little easier to enjoy.  No offense, humanity.
• that i have a great family!
• that apparently my enchilladas beat Dos Locos' enchilladas.  Still a great place to eat though.
• that i will never go to the beach again without packing a sweatsuit.
• and a coat.
• and maybe wool socks.
• fish like to have their bellies rubbed
• a lot!
• it's gross
• i don't recommend it
• that i need more sleep

Good night.