i don’t wanna put on my Tom Cruise School of Psychology hat here but if Comfort Kids were weaned too early and held too little, then Control Kids often seem to have grown up in chaotic households. Fear dominates. Anxiety dominates. The desire for Safety becomes a ruling need. Protection. Security. Control.
God is not big enough. God is not good enough. Trust in God but lock your doors. i have to do it because others are too careless. i can’t do that because well, what if…? You can’t do that because what if…? Rules are good. Laws are good. Walls are good. We must keep that out there and this in here manageable. We must keep them out there and everyone in here needs to toe the line. Power is only good if it is outside the wall or governed by the law or safe here in my own little paw. Might ruffle a feather or two here but i think this is why many of us want to carry a gun. It’s not the gun we crave and they are not evil because all things are pure for those who are pure and besides, guns is cool! It’s the sense of power over chaos. It’s the sense of control they give us. When it hits the fan, I’ll have options. I’ll be one of the ones deciding things. Not a slave to anyone. Not a victim. The greatest commandment Control etches into the shivering stone of our hearts is “Thou shalt not be a Victim… again.”
And thus, Control is an infant king. The Man corrupted. The son of man who never stopped being afraid, who never stopped being small, who never trusted the goodness and love of the Father. “And God said, “Let us make humankind in our image and according to our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of heaven, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every moving thing that moves upon the earth.” So God created humankind in his image, in the likeness of God he created him, male and female he created them. And God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it, and rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of heaven, and over every animal that moves upon the earth.” (Gen 1) Man was made ruler over the earth, to fill and subdue but trust was broken and in our arrogance, we treat God as if he were the one who broke it. As if He can’t be trusted. Control looks out upon it all now and said, ‘chaos! No one can rule this!’ and it retreats to an enclave. It builds a tower to keep all of its chicks home. To keep from ever getting lost. It cries, “There are giants in the land and we are but grasshoppers!” It says wealth keeps me safe, keeps me in control, i cannot part with it, i must have my nest egg for rainy days. Control is an insomniac; waking many times in the night needing to be comforted but with eyes fiercely tight, little walls to keep out the dark, it never sees the Father standing over. It says my party must be in power for yours doesn’t have my interests at heart. It says i have to be in charge because you cannot be trusted. It hovers over its children’s educations for what if they aren’t equipped? What if they are exposed to something i don’t approve of? What if they are bullied? It wears suspenders and a belt with drawstring sweats. It buys security systems and insurance policies and security systems for its insurance policies. It keeps the job it hates because, better the devil i know... It moves to the suburbs and then it moves to the mountains when the roads get too crowded. It risks nothing, smothers what it loves and condemns all that disturb the order. It loves tradition and hates change. It inherits an empire built by adventurers and micro manages it into the ground because it’s afraid to lose any of it.
Three times God told Joshua, “be strong and courageous.” Joshua. No slouch by any means. A warrior tested and true. A spirit filled disciple of Moses himself. Joshua, “Be strong and very courageous.” And again, “Did I not command you? Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be dismayed for Yahweh your God is with you wherever you go.” Why? Why three times? Why does every time God describes himself, he uses words like ‘faithful’ and ‘loyal’? Why does the person with OCD check fifteen times to see if the toaster is unplugged and then lie awake in bed worrying about fire?
Because they don’t believe. And neither do we.