Ambiva-Lent

Why Lent?  Why this attention to one day over another?  Aren't all days the same, holy and good and gifts from God?  Isn't this a Catholic thing?  Rites and rituals make us Presbys nervous and maybe just a little sanctimonious.  We're enlightened.  Literally.  We are not burdened with such nonsense and Papist mummery.  We have freedom in Christ who did not command us to keep a holy time of fasting and prayer before his second birthday.  Jesus didn't say it, I believe it, that settles it (or did he?  Matt 6:16-19, Matt 9:15).  And you'd be perfectly justified to hold that opinion and if any man of us does, as i once myself did, let no one judge him for he believes this to the honor of God.  Amen.

But he may want to stop reading now.  Because i'm either going to confuse him or annoy the sanctimony out of him.

For those who don't remember we were all one church once, katholikos: universal, embracing all that was holy and true.  So whether you like it or not, the Presbyterian bloodlines run back through the Catholic church, for they are Christ's bloodlines.  Christ is not divided.  He still has but one Body.  He didn't put down the church for a thousand years and then pick it back up again when Luther nailed his thesis to the Wittenburg church.  He has been bringing it up like his son whom He loves.  And that son has been setting aside forty days before Resurrection Sunday since before the time of Irenaeus, only two hundred years after the first birth of Christ and two hundred years before the council Nicaea nailed down our credal doctrines, the hills the church would die for and upon.  For those inclined to disagreement, Lent is not one of those hills and so we can be katholikos, unified even with two ideas about it in one church.  Jesus is big enough. 

But why do it at all?  Tradition is not a good enough reason, on this i agree with the Repel-Lent crowd.  To do something simply because it's what we do is not worshiping the Father in spirit and truth.  It is works based religion and that simply will not do.  You can not do this to please God.  You can, of yourself, do absolutely nothing to please God.  All of your religion, whether it includes Lent or vehemently opposes it, is nothing but menstrual soaked rags.  (Isaiah 64:6 and while we're at it, Isaiah 1)

But it pleased God to do all that was necessary to bring you into His Holy Presence through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus the Christ.  And that is something worth celebrating!  And that is what Easter's all about Charlie Brown!  Second birth!  Resurrection!  Death defeated!  Sin defeated!  The veil torn in two!  The Holy of Holies our new true home which Easter says loud and clear a day is coming when we leave behind this temporal kingdom and march singing and praising into that one!  Why would we NOT want to start that journey now?  Why would we not prepare our hearts to meet His?  Why would we not leave behind the things of this world, even temporarily (fasting), to focus the eyes of our minds, our hearts and even to discipline our bodies which can either bear us along or hold us back and distract us from the narrow path that leads through the constricted but oh-so-generously-open gate of Jesus!

Well, why would we not?  What's holding us back?

What is the church? Resurrected!

What is the church according to this Day?

"Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, live in him, firmly rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding with thankfulness. Beware lest anyone take you captive through philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world and not according to Christ, because in him all the fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you are filled in him, who is the head over every ruler and authority, in whom also you were circumcised with a circumcision not made by hands, by the removal of the body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ, having been buried with him in baptism, in which also you were raised together with him through faith in the working of God, who raised him from the dead. And although you were dead in the trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, he made you alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, having destroyed the certificate of indebtedness in ordinances against us, which was hostile to us, and removed it out of the way by nailing it to the cross. When he had disarmed the rulers and the authorities, he made a display of them in public, triumphing over them by it."

What is the church in the time between? Working, watching and waiting...

What is the church in the time between?

"“A little while and you will see me no more, and again a little while and you will see me. So some of his disciples said to one another, “What is this that he is saying to us, ‘A little while and you will not see me, and again a little while and you will see me,’ and ‘Because I am going away to the Father’?” So they kept on saying, “What is this that he is saying, ‘A little while’? We do not understand what he is speaking about!”
Jesus knew that they were wanting to ask him, and he said to them, “Are you deliberating with one another about this—that I said, ‘A little while, and you will not see me, and again a little while and you will see me’? Truly, truly I say to you, that you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice; you will become sorrowful, but your sorrow will change to joy. A woman, when she gives birth, experiences pain because her hour has come. But when her child is born, she no longer remembers the affliction, on account of the joy that a human being has been born into the world. So you also are experiencing sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy from you."  John 16


“You must be prepared for action and your lamps burning. And you, be like people who are waiting for their master when he returns from the wedding feast, so that when he comes back and knocks, they can open the door for him immediately. Blessed are those slaves whom the master will find on the alert when he returns! Truly I say to you that he will dress himself for service and have them recline at the table and will come by and serve them. Even if he should come back in the second or in the third watch of the night and find them like this, blessed are they! But understand this, that if the master of the house had known what hour the thief was coming, he would not have left his house to be broken into. You also must be ready, because the Son of Man is coming at an hour that you do not think he will come.”
And Peter said, “Lord, are you telling this parable for us, or also for everyone?” And the Lord said, “Who then is the faithful wise manager whom the master will put in charge over his servants to give them their food allowance at the right time? Blessed is that slave whom his master will find so doing when he comes back. Truly I say to you that he will put him in charge of all his possessions."  Luke 12

What is the church according to the first and the last, who was dead and came to life?

What is the church according to the Creator and the Ender of all things, the Reason, the All in All of Everything, the End All-Be All, the one who died yet rose again from the dead?

“This is what the first and the last says, who was dead and came to life: ‘I know your affliction and poverty (but you are rich), and the slander of those who call themselves Jews and are not, but are a synagogue of Satan. Do not be afraid of the things which you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison so that you may be tested, and you will experience affliction ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life. The one who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. The one who conquers will never be harmed by the second death.’

"We ought to give thanks to God always concerning you, brothers, just as it is fitting, because your faith is flourishing and the love of each one of you all toward one another is increasing so that we ourselves boast in you in the churches of God about your patient endurance and faith in all your persecutions and the afflictions that you are enduring, a proof of the righteous judgment of God, so that you may be considered worthy of the kingdom of God, on behalf of which also you are suffering, since it is righteous in the sight of God to pay back those who are afflicting you with affliction, and to you who are being afflicted, rest with us at the revelation of the Lord Jesus from heaven with his powerful angels, with burning flame giving punishment to those who do not know God and who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus, who will pay the penalty of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his strength, whenever he should come to be glorified on that day by his saints and to be marveled at by all who believe, because our testimony was believed among you, for which purpose we also pray always for you, that you may be considered worthy of the calling of our God, and he might fulfill every desire for goodness and work of faith with power, in order that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Thessalonians 1

What is the church? Received.

What is the church?  And what can we liken it to before a risen Savior?

"And I turned to see the voice which was speaking with me, and when I turned, I saw seven gold lampstands, and in the midst of the lampstands one like a son of man, dressed in a robe reaching to the feet and girded around his chest with a golden belt, and his head and hair were white like wool, white as snow, and his eyes were like a fiery flame, and his feet were like fine bronze when it has been fired in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of many waters, and he had in his right hand seven stars, and a sharp double-edged sword coming out of his mouth, and his face was like the sun shining in its strength.
And when I saw him, I fell at his feet like a dead person, and he placed his right hand on me, saying, “Do not be afraid!"

It is in the West, in this day and age, very easy to succumb to the idea that we are just one religion of many.  That we christians are just following some cultural heritage passed down to us from our father and our father's fathers before us.  That our beliefs and our customs are no different than the beliefs and customs which mark other cultures and are no better or no worse, just separate.  And that would be true, is true for every other culture and religion.

But for Jesus.  If this man really lived and this man is who he said he is then it is INEVITABLE that each of us will one day stand before him just as John did in the passage above.  That is truth.  That is the church's truth.  What will you do then?  The church is not those who will fall at his feet.

"I am Yahweh, and there is none besides me;
    besides me there is no god.
        I gird you though you do not know me,
so that they may know from the rising of the sun
    and from the west that there is none besides me;
        I am Yahweh and there is none besides me...
 I have sworn by myself;
    a word that shall not return has gone forth from my mouth in righteousness:
‘Every knee shall kneel down to me;
    every tongue shall swear.’
‘Only in Yahweh,’ one shall say to me, ‘are righteousness and strength.’
    He shall come to him, and all those who were angry with him shall be ashamed." Isaiah 45

No, all will fall before Him just as all would melt before the Sun, it's just physics.  And here is one greater than the Sun.  

The church are those to whom He will compassionately give His mighty right hand and say, "Do not be afraid." 

What is the church? Delivered by one we thought dead.

What is the church?  And what can we liken it to in Genesis 45?


 " Then Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still alive?” And his brothers were unable to answer him, for they were dismayed at his presence. So Joseph said to his brothers, “Come near to me, please.”  Genesis 45

"And he said to them, “Why are you frightened? And for what reason do doubts arise in your hearts? Look at my hands and my feet, that I am I myself! Touch me and see, because a ghost does not have flesh and bones, as you see that I have.” And when he had said this, he showed them his hands and his feet."  Luke 24


"And he said, “I am Joseph, your brother, whom you sold into Egypt. So now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves that you sold me here, for God sent me as deliverance before you."  Gen 45

"And he said to them, “O foolish and slow in heart to believe in all that the prophets have spoken! Was it not necessary that the Christ suffer these things and enter into his glory?” Luke 24
 
"Jesus said to him, “Because you have seen me, have you believed? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.” John 20

The church are those who thought they had killed their brother and find instead that he has rose from the dead to be their deliverance!

Remember to use your indoor voice.

i have screamed at the sky. i have read Ecclesiastes and said, "yep, that's truth." Meaningless, life is meaningless, all chasing after the wind. i have lived almost forty years now and found nothing worth the effort it took to get here. No reward in this life worth the ride. i watch the trail of ants coming out of the walls of the house i built and across the counter of the shiny new kitchen and i see a world that is infested with entropy, decay, filth and i hear the laughing of an evil spirit mocking my attempts to recreate a private Eden. There is no rest or refuge on the earth. i have spent four hours working on a drawing for the Rabbitrails only to have someone tell me it isn't work and not so much as imply that it is a waste of time as make it a declaration of fact. And so i get lost in these dark places where i can't see what the point and movement of history is for. You're born, work at something someone else want's you to do for forty-to sixty years and then if you're lucky, you retire before your back, knees and/or health gives out and you putter around your yard looking for shrews but what you're really doing is hiding from one. This is life in America. Finally having your first child and buying your first house in your mid-thirties and then finding out you have cancer. It's watching your children make the same mistakes you did. Watching your parents walk away from each other and you. It's realizing that optimism is a belief that can only be held by the psychotically insane or the so-far astoundingly lucky. It's never being good enough, smart enough, wealthy or healthy enough. It's working your whole life and having the river or the ocean or a fire or a mean neighbor or a total, mind raping, freak accident take it all away in seconds. There are no guarantees. None. Yes, i have screamed at the sky. Why? What's it all for?

"If you don't love your story then you don't love the author of your story." That was a quote by Dan Allender that i heard one morning on a podcast that i was listening too in my search for the answers to those questions. i dunno if you've screamed at the sky but i can assure you that it rarely gives immediate, discernible answers. And from what i've read, you don't actually want it to. So i went looking the only place available to a guy like me: i Tunes.

Well, sort of. Lemme explain. What i went to was the Word of God. But as the Ethiopian eunuch told Phil, "how can i understand this unless someone explains it to me?" See, wanna guy to be humble enough to ask for directions? Geld him. i don't want anyone to eunuchize me so i try to be humble now. So, taking his example, i also go looking for learned folk who have not only read it but spent considerable time praying and studying it and arguing over what it all means with other folk who've spent considerable time praying and studying it. And then got recorded telling others what they've learned or think they've learned. Some of those recordings are on iTunes. One of these guys is Dan Allender and he's worth a listen or two. For the very reason that he drops bricks like "If you don't love your story then you don't love the author of your story," on you when your spackling a ceiling with your headphones on.

i tell you right now, i had to stop. Spackle knife in hand and ask God to forgive me for hating Him for much of my life. All those curses i had been launching at the air around me, they didn't hit the guy responsible for my curse, the guy laughing at me as i cursed my maker, my author, the lover of my soul. They hit the guy holding my ungrateful fist through it all. Trying to explain it to me. Trying to show me the answers to Why and What for?

i still don't know why or what for? i still ask. But i try to remember that i'm asking the guy in the chair next to me who went to the cross for me and while hanging there asked the sky, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" He died for my stupidity, rose and is sitting in heaven somewhere above the sky, i figure that gives him some interesting and worthwhile perspectives on it all.

Whuchoo talkin' 'bout, Aunt Linda?

"What a great life you have!!! You keep us all smiling!!!"

This is a quote via Facebook from my Aunt Linda. It made me make that snorting sound you do when you try to laugh at a moment of surprise. Intake and exhalation hit each other in the ol' windpipe and create friction that explodes out the sinuses. An internal thunderstorm of the nose i suppose.

Now i could go one of two directions with this quote. The first would be to point out how the faceless quality of the interwebs allows us to more completely brick up a false front to our true selves. That is, i'm afraid, how i responded immediately on the thread. It's a quick, thoughtless, knee jerk reaction, not without a grain of truth but like a clam strip, it's mostly fat-soaked breading.

For everything meine Tante said was true. Folk really do seem to get a kick out of my blither. i don't claim to understand it but i'd be a liar to pretend to ignore it. What's more, aside from getting people to think a little, mostly about their relationship with God, making them smile is a genuine goal of mine. So gimme the flightsuit and the banner so i can thumbs-up to a big "Mission Accomplished!" Meanwhile, the war goes on.

It's the first part of the quote that shocked me really. Anyone who's subjected themselves to the horror of this blog could attest, just prior to plucking their own eyes out, that i am generally a miserable wretch. Take this random comment from a fellow named Tige:

"Hey there. Came by your post accidentally. Your writing is funny. That's great. You are also a moper. Not so great. "

See, you don't even have to be a follower.

"What a great life you have!!!" Three exclamation points seem to put it over the top but no, it's that true! Aunt Linda is absolutely correct. And what's more, it's true for all of us. God gave us these lives and they are good. That's not to say that the circumstances are always fun or easy or pleasing or even generally-amusing-if-you-squint-at-it-just-right, but that's not what "good" means. i don't actually know what good means but i know it's got more in common with "beautiful" and "loved" than "happy." Circumstances are weather. They are the seas in which we sail, but they have no bearing on whether or not the ship is good. The ship is good! The sea is good. The weather, may suck today and be ideal tomorrow but the sailing is good.

Now, why did the same guy who made the ship, make the weather suck so often? Ahhhh. There's the rub, eh? i have no idea. No, that's not true, i have ideas but lack the hubris to spout them. But i will hint them, i have arrogance enough for that. i don't think i ever learned anything insightful, significant or life changing; i don't believe that the person i am and the person i am becoming would be if my life were smooth sailing through breezy, sunny, summer days. i don't think i would have learned to trust, believe and depend on my savior if i never knew i needed saving. i don't think i would have ever lived if i hadn't shot the rapids and wondered if i was going to die. Our God is a God of resurrection, that's how He works. He brings about new life through death...

...but you gotta die first.

Who indeed?

The frost-tinged wind has blown the treetops bare.

The leafy remnant are more crumbly browns than shades of fire.

Witching goblin, ghostly ghoul retreat to their respective lair.

Cattail valleys echo with the wandering wa-wa choir.

Gunshot signals hunter's boon and hind's resignation

In the evening there is woodsmoke on the crackling, whistling wind.

Cricket and frog relinquish the night to Owl's inquiring conversation

Who, they ask, who, yet believe that Winter is the end?

Post from beyond the grave.

It seemed a strange way to begin the afterlife. He was sitting in the dark, staring at a computer. He kind of thought the coffee would be better. Instead it had that nutty flavor it got when the coffee pot needed cleaning. He would have to throw that in the dishwasher more here in the New Life. He had only been reborn for a half an hour and he already had chores. Clean the coffee pot, shoo scavenger cat away from the recycling, the only semi-holy thing he'd done since rising from the dead was pray for a minute. He had wanted to do this right. He had wanted to dedicate this second life to God. He thought rising up from the dead should start in prayer and meditation like a monk in the lotus position upon a windswept seaside cliff, instead, he had said, "grace" over bad coffee.

Maybe being resurrected meant that he didn't have to force it. Was he closer to God now? That seemed a dangerous line of thought. People who thought they were closer to God seemed to him the type who could justify any fool thing they did and call it "blessed." Like medieval popes, since they were God's emissary, whatever they did was sanctioned. Down that path lay madness. God asked for humility. The Bible called it "fearing" God. Blithely assuming that he and the Big Guy had an understanding now didn't sound like "fearing."

This new life still included scrubbing pots, nocturnal nuisances and breaking wind, what was different? How was he different? The cursor stayed still for a long time after that question. To pass the time it blinked. This is how eternity would be marked, by a steadily blinking cursor next to a question mark. A great, black carpenter ant tried to skitter across the keyboard to remind him that this was not eternity. The forces of decay and destruction were still at work. He had been reborn only to die again some day. So what was this New Life? Again, what made it different from the old life?

The sky beyond the window began to lighten. Somewhere the Sun was rising. The scavenger cat came back and meowed for mercy. Soon he would have to stop writing and go do work that people actually paid him to do. Work that would need to be cleaned and maintained and even so, carpenter ants would eventually devour it. Only the intangible and invisible was eternal. To be seen and to be touched was to be able to be destroyed. Just ask Jesus.

What did Jesus do when he rose from the dead? He made his bed, folding the grave clothes and laying them neatly on the stone. He played peek-a-boo with his friends, serving and sharing meals and talked with them. Then, about a month later, he just flew away. He had just stuck around long enough to prove he lived, to be touched and to be seen and to say his piece and his peaces. Were they new words or did they just have added weight from being said by a formerly dead guy who now lived? Do the words of the resurrected have more impact or are they just more focused from a new point of view?

The writer guessed he could only write some words and find out.