CF3: the Cynic goes there

Fatalism, Pessimism and Cynicism all walk into a bar.  They order drinks, sit down at a booth and Fatalism holds his glass up, "What will be, will be!"
Pessimism clinks glasses with him and adds, "Yep, and it will most probably suck!"
Cynicism just takes a sip of his bitter drink and mutters, "You know why that is, don't ya."

"Man, who is born of woman,
Is short lived and full of turmoil.
Like a flower he comes forth and withers.
He also flees like a shadow and does not remain."  Job 14

Dreams.  Ambition.  Desire.  Hope.  To live is to live FOR something.  Whether one desires a quiet life or an epic one, one still has hopes and set requirements for those hopes.  A steady job, a loving family and a house in the burbs or a mission field, a backpack and a pocket English-to-Whuddeesay dictionary or a million dollars, a mansion and a yacht or a rented flat in a grimy city and an IBM selectric typewriter or a charming brownstone, an artist girlfriend and a good coffee shop down on the corner; the family farm; the military career; the next promotion; the next raise; the next game; the next diploma; the next kid; the next grandkid; the next acquisition; the next sale; retirement or acclaim; travel or finally settling down; the next thrill; the next church plant; the next rung up whatever ladder you thought your life was about whatever that thing may be, that's what you're living FOR.

But a mountain falls; it crumbles away,
and a rock moves from its place.
Water wears away stones;
its torrents wash away the soil of the earth;
so you destroy the hope of human beings.
You overpower him forever, and he passes away;
you change his countenance, then you send him away.
His children may come to honor, but he does not know it;
or they may become lowly, but he does not realize it.
He feels only the pain of his own body,
and he mourns only for himself."  Job 14

Or you're just surviving.  The stark contrast between the spark in one man's eyes or a thousand yard stare in another can be whether or not they still believe in their dreams, desires and ambitions.  Whether their hopes still seem attainable or something... or someone... has crushed them.  They might still have things to live for but those goals have a much different flavor than they once did: the next drink, the next card game, the next fishing trip, the next vacation, the next affair, the next chance alone in a dark room with their computer, the next hit, the next installment of their show, the next offering from Marvel or Marilyn Manson or Tim Keller, time alone in the garage, or in the library, or in the garden, or on the mower...

The Fatalist has given up but he hasn't really thought about why.  The Pessimist has a why but he hasn't really thought out the implications of that why.  He doesn't allow himself to.  The Cynic has.  The Cynic is a frustrated idealist.  At some point he sentimentally believed in the good, the way things could be, should be and would be if people really, really tried.  And if he's a Christian, then he thought he had every right to believe those things really could and would be!

But they did not.  They did not come true.  People didn't really try.  They didn't.  They were too busy, too important, too adamant, too weak, too interested in their own plans and dreams, too distracted, too fatalistic, too pessimistic, too cynical.  His dreams failed and he did too.  Whether he blames himself or not.  He has looked behind the frustrated dreams, the crushed hopes and he has seen that man, at his core is selfish and always only thinks of himself.  He's heard of Total Depravity and he buys it.  There is no one who does good, no not one.  All of humankind is a liar!

Man is just not good.  Therefore, Life is just not good.

And if he's honest, and if the drink is bitter enough, you might get him to admit what he's truly thinking.  What he's afraid to think out loud.  What he's even more terrified to commit to writing but is the underlying framework in which he lives, breathes and chooses to be angry, disgruntled and morose.

That maybe God isn't good either.

No, i won't leave it here, this is a terrible place to leave it off for now but sometimes... we have to sit in a terrible place... to be continued.

Christian Fatalism

"Whatever is--it was already determined,
   what will be--it has already been decided.
As for man, he cannot argue
   against what is more powerful than him.
Increasing words only multiplies futility,
   how does that profit anyone?

For who knows what is good for a man in his life during the few days of his fleeting life, which are fleeting as a shadow?  For who can tell anyone what will happen in the future under the sun?"  (Ecc 6)

Christian fatalism summed up in a few verses.  If God is God then nothing we do matters.  Predestination means we had no real choice in the matter (thank God!!).  God is all knowing, all seeing and all powerful, what does he need us to pray and ask for things?  He already knows.  He's going to do what he wants anyway, right? 

You know, before i go and tell you what i think about this, i'd be curious to hear what y'all think.  What's wrong with thinking this way?  Are there fallacies we are holding on to?  What scriptures refute this way of thinking?  What does thinking this way do to our heart?  Our faith?  Our testimony?

On Rocks and Scorpions and Snakes

“What portion is there for us in David?  We have no inheritance in the son of Jesse.”  

Quick, whose quote is that?  Who said it?  Have you?  When you have asked God for a piece of bread and he has given to you a stone?  A snake for a fish?  When you asked him for an egg, did he give you a scorpion?  No?  Never happened?  

i know people who asked God for a baby and they got a stillborn and miscarriages.  There are people who have asked God to save their addicted child and they got an overdose.  There are those who ask for reconciliation and renewal and get divorce.  There are those who ask for years and years for healing and are told, my grace is sufficient for you.  People whose lives seemed fine until they gave it to Christ.  Families torn apart.  And that’s not to even mention those whose suffering is unto death because we don’t go to those parts of the world.  We stay here, where it’s safe.  Where it’s normal.  Where it’s sane.  Where our money and our culture can keep at bay most of the evil and suffering that the rest of the world thinks of as normal.  A world of paid sick days and all night groceries and medicines for sniffles and delivery on Sunday by Amazon and on demand television and tinder and alcohol and legalized marijuana and pets we don’t keep to eat and the right to keep and bear arms against anyone who would try and take any of those God-given rights away from us and cry out whenever these things do come to our shores like an unwanted intruder.

The Pope wants to change the words of the Lord’s prayer.  He doesn’t like the part where it says, “Lead us not into temptation.”  He says a loving father doesn’t do that.  He wants it to read, “Do not let us fall into temptation.”  i reckon he would cite James 1, “No one who is being tempted should say, “I am being tempted by God,” for God is without temptation by evil, and he himself tempts no one.”  Sounds pretty straight forward.  But then a lot of things do when you cut and paste them out of their context.  Context here to mean “the whole Bible.”  

From the very beginning, God placed two perfect people in a perfect garden and still he put in the tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil.  He didn’t need to do that.  He could have left it out.  He knew the Serpent was in the garden.  He was not somewhere else when Eve had her conversation with the snake.  He wasn’t sleeping.  Even the immediate context of the quote in James is, “Blessed is the person who endures TESTING…” Even the next line of the Lord’s prayer is “but deliver us FROM evil.

God does not tempt, no.  But He does test.  He tests to show you what is in your heart: idols, pride, selfishness, disobedience, even when i want to do good, i do not.  He tests to show you what you truly believe about Him.  Is He good even in this?  Will you accept good from His hand and not evil?  When you with Habakkuk ask God how long will we cry for help and you will not listen?  How long will we cry out to you, “Violence!” and you will not save?  And God answers, You think you know violence?  You ain’t seen the half of it!  Can you still say, “Not my will but yours be done?  Is He still God?  Is he allowed to do what He wants?  When He wants?  How He wants?  And when He does, is He still good?

For i would be doing you a great disservice if i left you here.  Because God tests to show you what is in your heart AND what is in HIS!  And what is in His is His Glory and your good.  God is good!  God does bless!  God does love you!  More than life itself!  And that is the point!  Fat, dumb and happy doesn’t seek God.  Doesn’t long for him!  Doesn’t ache for him!  It gets those two things reversed: we thing God is good when he works for our glory.

Sometimes when you ask for bread, God will give you rocks.  But to show you that man does not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God!

Sometimes when you ask for a fish, the Father will give you a scorpion.  But fear not!  For Behold, He has given you the authority to tread on snakes and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy and nothing will ever harm you.  Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are inscribed in heaven!

And there it is?  Where is your inheritance?  Where is your treasure?  If it’s here, you will only see the rocks, the scorpions and the snake.  If it’s Jesus, then your treasure is untouchable and unable to be measured!  Is He truly worth everything you must endure here?  Do you honestly and heart-deep believe that He is leading you to something so much better?  Do you really believe that this life is just the set up for Eternity?  That every loss and lack and trial and test are only shaping your inheritance, your consolation, your place that Christ is preparing for you even as we speak and making you hate even the garment stained by our sin?  The cross you pick up every day is only making you love your Jesus more?  Is He Yours?  Do you trust him?

On the third day, the son of David answered the Israelites who had asked for a lightening of their burden harshly, “I will make your yoke heavy, and I myself will add to it.  My father disciplined you with whips, but I will do so with scorpions.”  And the Israelites answered the king saying, “What portion is there for us in David?  We have no inheritance in the son of Jesse.”  And it turned out to be true.  They did not endure, they did not trust Yahweh their God.  They saw a snake and they ran and trusted in their own strength, their own king.  They went their own way and were scattered ultimately by the Assyrians to not be a people any longer.

Jesus is the better Son of David.  The Son of Eve who on the third day crushed the head of the serpent.  Who has thrown him down and says his time is short.  Do you believe him.  Will you wait for him to come and lead you where He says He will?  A time of testing is coming, not just on you personally but on the church and the whole earth, of that you can be sure, He promised it would but that on the other side, good awaited.  Our inheritance awaits.  He awaits.  But will He find faith when He comes?

(for those who do such things, you could do worse to meditate on Deut 8.)

The heartbeat.

As a protestant who grew up in denominations marked by the space they put between themselves and their Catholic forebears, i have never had a great trust of liturgy.  Liturgy becomes rote.  Rote is faith in the freezer.  Hard.  Inflexible.  Cold.  Dead.

As i seeped and simmered, i came to equate rote with religion.  i learned no matter who we are, no matter what we believe about God, we all have faith in something.  We all have a religion.  We are all worshiping something or someone.  We cannot help it.  It's how we're made.

Like a good protestant, i came to understand and say (with no small amount of smugness) it's not religion, it's relationship.  Faith is not in what i do, rote, it's in what HE's done.  i cherished my freedom from all forms of rigidity, i celebrated in a casual style of worship service.  Not quite hippie love-in or quaker meeting, we weren't deconstructionalists or anarchists, we were more libertarian, i guess.

A few more years in the crockpot however and i've come to understand that even as we all must worship, even as we all have faith in something, we all have liturgy.  No, maybe we don't follow a dictum laid down in edicts from Rome, and maybe we don't have a board at the front of the sanctuary telling us what number hymns we will sing in what order and a bulletin that we don't even really need to look at anymore because we know the order of worship by heart, can recite it in unison (a term here meaning that dead, flat, monotone we all speak in during a service as if we were reading the fine print on a legal document instead of the Living Word) but we all follow patterns.  We all have systems.  We all make plans.

We were made for Rhythm.

Even someone like me, as painfully Northern Occidental and genetically, environmentally rhythmically-impaired as i am, have and live and was made for rhythms.  i wake up at a certain time, i eat at certain times, i work at designated times.  Lives, like songs, have frameworks.  Sometimes the beat is fast, driving, energetic.  Other days have a more languid tempo, relaxed, slow, contemplative.  Some days are speed metal, some days are dirges, others yet are reggae, polkas, waltzes, dubstep, hip-hop, country, ballads, blues and even jazz but each day, each year, each life, has a rhythm.  As if there is some outrageously hip angel of God in dark glasses, a pipe hanging from his lips, a soft hat cocked on his bobbing head and the mother of all upright basses in his long, steady fingers, tap, tap, tapping out the sound that was the first sound we became conscious of in the womb.  Life has rhythm.

And so does faith.  God built us for rhythms.  Seasons.  Tempos.  Beats.  Spiritual disciplines, creeds, liturgies are training.  Like soldiers, warriors, drilling certain steps into ourselves until our bodies can react correctly in times of stress and fear and chaos without prompting or conscious thought.  Like sages, we are so deep in Scripture we have the Word for every season, situation and praise.  So our days are not idle, our minds not bored, our worship not empty, our prayers not prattle, our hearts not tempted by desires unfit for our natures as Priests and Kings and Sons of the Living God.  For in our hearts and heads we hear the drums and basses and cymbals and guitars pounding out the steady rhythm to which the kingdom of the God of All Rhythms marches and dances.

What is the church? Dependent on revelation.

What is the church?  And what can we liken it to in Genesis 40?

"When Joseph came to them in the morning he looked at them, and behold, they were troubled. And he asked the court officials of Pharaoh that were with him in the custody of his master’s house, “Why are your faces sad today?” And they said to him, “We each dreamed a dream, but there is no one to interpret it.” And Joseph said to them, “Do not interpretations belong to God?"

Here we see a slew of the characteristics of the church in play.  Joe's responsibility, even in jail.  Joe's compassion for his neighbors, fellow prisoners, foreigners, pagans.  His knowledge, right knowledge of God, not bumpersticker faith.  But fully convinced of the sovereignty of Yahweh, the All knowing, All powerful.  And last but not least, Joe's simple faith and trust in God's power, not his own.  

The church does not lean on its own wisdom and understanding and power.

Centuries later another prisoner and exile in a foreign land (church as alien) would have an opportunity to not just interpret dreams but know the dream outright without being told it!  And not just for servants of the king, but the king himself!  He does not lean on his own power either...

"Then Daniel went to his home, and he made the matter known to Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah, his companions, and told them to seek mercy from the God of heaven concerning this mystery, so that Daniel and his companions, along with the remainder of the wise men of Babylon, would not be killed.
Then in a vision of the night the mystery was revealed to Daniel; then Daniel blessed the God of heaven.
Daniel said:

“Let his name, the name of God, be blessed throughout the ages,
    for the wisdom and the power are his.
And he changes the times and the seasons,
    and he deposes kings and he sets up kings;
he gives wisdom to wise men
    and knowledge to men who know understanding.
He reveals the deep and the hidden things;
    he knows what is in the darkness,
    and the light dwells with him.
To you, O God of my ancestors,
    I give thanks and I give praises,
for the wisdom and the power you gave to me,
    and now you have made known to me
what we have asked from you,
    for you have made known to us the matter of the king.”  Daniel 2

What is the church? A Testimony.

What is the church?  And what can we liken it to in Genesis 22 still? 

"And he said, “Take your son, your only child, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains where I will tell you.” And Abraham rose up early in the morning and saddled his donkey. And he took two of his servants with him, and Isaac his son. And he chopped wood for a burnt offering. And he got up and went to the place which God had told him. On the third day Abraham lifted up his eyes..."

Those whom God calls and those who hear and obey and suffer for it and serve when and where and how they are called, will be a testimony to Christ.  Their very lives, their very suffering will point to the suffering of Christ!  This makes perfect sense.  The church are those given the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit is always testifying about Christ.  How could we not?  Abraham's call to sacrifice.  Isaac's call to be the sacrifice.  Three days of thinking Isaac as good as dead.  Abraham is being invited to know God in ways we could never know him just by reading about him.  

"If anyone serves me, he must follow me, and where I am, there my servant will be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.”  John 12

The church are those who's suffering, who's prosperity, who's very lives are a living testimony to Jesus Christ who's life, death and resurrection are a testimony to the Father.

What is the church? Keepers of the Way.

What is the church?  And what can we liken it to in Genesis 18?

"Abraham will surely become a great and strong nation, and all the nations of the earth will be blessed on account of him. For I have chosen him, that he will command his children and his household after him that they will keep the way of Yahweh, to do righteousness and justice, so that Yahweh may bring upon Abraham that which he said to him.”"

As we said from the beginning, God has chosen to bless certain folk in order that they may bless the world.  God works through agents.  His Ministry of Silly Blessings, as it were.  But they are more than just agents.  They are family.  The children of Abraham.  Each generation teaching the next to 'keep the way of Yahweh, to do righteousness (worship, good, love) and justice (charity, generosity, peacemaking)."   

The church is a single family blessed and devoted and dedicated to keep the Way of Yahweh.
"Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How are we able to know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."  John 14

What is the church? ...response.

What is the church?  And what can we continue to liken it to in Genesis 6?

"And Noah did according to all that God commanded him; thus he did."

If God had called and Noah had said, "mmmm, no thanks.  That sounds dumb," the Bible would have only been seven chapters long, and the soggy pages of chapter seven would have read, "and Noah didn't float long enough to regret that decision."  Or maybe Chapter 8 would read, "And God sighed, rolled up His sleeves and brought forth Dave from the earth..."  Only God knows.  But He gave grace enough to Noah for Noah to believe Him.  

Now it's very common for people to say they believe.  And it is very common for that belief to appear to be nothing more than cognitive assent.  Yes, i think that's true.  Yes, i think God is good and trustworthy.  Yet is that what saved Noah and his family?  Simply believing God when he said, I'm going to flood the earth?  That kind of belief would have had him paddling the backstroke thinking, "Yep, knew it, God was right."  Belief not only demands action, it dictates the action.  If you really believe God, it will change everything.  What you are doing.  What your values are.  That year that Noah spent preparing and building the ark, he reaped his fields and gardens but i guarantee you he didn't bother sowing next year's crop.  He didn't waste the time.  He probably didn't put that addition on the house or buy a new car.  Wasn't much point in remodeling the kitchen.  Probably drained the bank account and bought grain and oats.  A fat wallet wasn't going to feed him on the other side.  His priorities fit the belief he had.  The truth he believed.  Anything that didn't add to fitting and kitting the ark was a distraction and a waste of resources.  The church responds with belief and appropriate action.  We might say, it trusts and obeys.

There's so much more to be said about this but tomorrow's another day... if it comes.  "What is the benefit, my brothers, if someone says that he has faith but does not have works? That faith is not able to save him, is it?"  James 2

Faith, it's what's for dinner. (i swear i've used that title a half dozen times.)

"In the meanwhile the disciples were asking him, saying, “Rabbi, eat something!” But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you do not know about.”"  John 4

Why didn't Jesus eat?  The woman was gone.  It would be a while before the rest of the villagers came.  Doesn't seem to be anything going on, what would be the logical reason for refusing food at that point?  i don't get the impression 1st century peasants in the Middle East ate anywhere near as much as we Americans peasants do twenty centuries later.  Maybe i'm wrong but while wandering on the dusty road by foot, i'm guessing they didn't eat three squares a day.  So anytime food was offered i'm gonna guess they didn't pass.  "No thanks, man, I had a sticky bun and a sardine three days ago, i'm stuffed."  So why does Jesus take a rain check on the food he sent the twelve into town to get in the first place?  He seemed to see what was coming.  Crowds.  Two days of preaching.  Why would he want to weaken his body?


"So the disciples began to say to one another, “No one brought him anything to eat, did they?” Jesus said to them, “My food is that I do the will of the one who sent me and complete his work."  John 4

 i'm not saying i know, but the only reason i can think of is because he didn't necessarily see what was coming.  He is God but as a man, it seems his foreknowledge was not always perfect.  The Spirit showed him and told him some things but not everything.  We don't know when.  We don't know how.  He was in communion with God, yes, but he still got off by himself to pray.  He used the same channels you and i use to speak with the Father.  To listen to the Father.  To be in communion with His Father.  He prayed.

And he fasted.  He had just pulled the pin on a grenade and sent it back into town in the form of a woman in the joyous shock of having possibly just met the Messiah of God!  Like the messengers He chose to send news of His resurrection, Jesus chooses this woman to be the herald to her own people.  Now, it seems to me, he is fasting and praying upon the outcome.  That God would be exalted by the good news spreading and changing more hearts than just this one.  That the harvest would produce fruit.  He's no longer alone but that doesn't mean he can't discipline his body, submit it to his eagerness to the work.  Every pang of his stomach only serves to sharpen his vision as he gazes down the road and prays for the ears about to hear.  After a long day of walking in the heat, food may make him drowsy.  He wants his wit for the work, both the work of praying and the hoped for work of receiving the hopeful.  For this time, he did not have to send someone healed of a physical disease.  The crowds, if they came, would come seeking the cure for the spiritual, not the bodily ailments.  They would come perhaps just to see and hear a prophet, but to hear the words of God.  They wouldn't be dragging along everyone afflicted with everything from leprosy to restless leg syndrome.  They would come seeking God.

But i wonder too.  Is that all?  Did angels minister to him as they did to Elijah?  i don't know.  Maybe they did or maybe the joy that comes from being exactly who God made you to be, doing exactly what He made you to do completely cancels out, at least temporarily, all other needs and considerations.  Can we be so filled with the Spirit that we are full?  Can it be that actually loving God and obeying him can drive out the sins we cling to?  The idols we find so hard to throw away?  The fragile identities we cultivate so carefully?  The identities and comforts and treasures of this world we so hunger and thirst for?  

"Blessed are the ones who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    because they will be satisfied."  Matt 5

the Four Loves: the Infant King

We serve an amazing God.  

In light of recent events, i was preparing a completely different post today.  i was going to wrestle control from the pattern i had “arbitrarily” set and rail against the idol of Power today, even though Control was next up in the queue.  But God.  

Fortunately, i read and listen before i sit at the keyboard and speak.  God has given me that much grace.  For He seems to have a different message for us than i had thought to put in His mouth.  

And in a sense, that’s all we need to know about king baby Control and how to eclipse him with the infant Prince of Peace, the God who could rest in the arms of a teen age girl.  The Creator who trusted Himself to His creation.  Read, seek and listen… First.  

The wailing tantrum of the king baby idol is: God is not good.  God is not in power.  God is not for us.  Maybe it’s more nuanced, “God is like adults, yeah he sees, but he’s so far above and so holy minded your little problems don’t really matter.  Our nation is just a blip in time, He’s got other concerns.  Higher concerns.  Big important stuff.  Give us a call if you get cancer or something and He’ll see what he can do but He’s pretty busy.  No promises.  You can deal with this petty stuff yourself, you got this.  Bless you and be at peace.”  Right.  As if there could be peace in a world where God is either absent or uninvolved, where it all depended on you, but that’s not what the gospel says he is at all.

“Consequently a sabbath rest remains for the people of God. For the one who has entered into his rest has also himself rested from his works, just as God did from his own works.

Therefore, let us make every effort to enter into that rest, in order that no one may fall in the same pattern of disobedience.” (Heb 4)  And what is this pattern of disobedience that the author of Hebrews says will keep us from entering His rest, His Sabbath, His Shalom?  “…but the message they heard did not benefit them, because they were not united with those who heard it in faith.”  United with those who heard it in faith?  What’s that mean?  And who were they not united with?  Who heard the gospel in faith?  

Glad you asked!  “And Abram said, “Look, you have not given me a descendant, and here, a member of my household is my heir.” And behold, the word of Yahweh came to him saying, “This person will not be your heir, but your own son will be your heir.” And he brought him outside and said, “Look toward the heavens and count the stars if you are able to count them.” And he said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” And he believed in Yahweh, and he reckoned it to him as righteousness.” (Gen 15)

God is not temporal.  God is not fixed in a moment as we are.  All of time has already happened and is happening right in front of him.  That’s why Christ could be crucified “before the foundation of the world” and yet we didn’t see it until around A.D. thirty.  God is not just saying to Abraham, you’re going to have lots of kids…or grandkids.. or great grandkids as it were.  He is saying that but those are just the shadow of things to come, what He’s really talking about are those united with him in faith!  The true sons of Abraham (John 8)! Those who would hear the gospel of Abram’s heir, his true heir, Jesus Christ, the true infant king and believe HIM.  And to them, to us today who have heard the gospel and believed, it is credited as righteousness.  We today, as long as it is called today, can enter into his rest, his Sabbath: the finished work of God!  No matter who they crown king in D.C.  No matter what the doctors say.  No matter what if.  No matter what goes down with our jobs.  No matter what our wives or our children do.  No matter what we think we need or want or must have, God is on the throne!  Jesus is in Control.  The Messiah has come!

"For a child has been born for us;
    a son has been given to us.
And the dominion will be on his shoulder,
    and his name is called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
        Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
His dominion will grow continually,
    and to peace there will be no end
on the throne of David and over his kingdom,
    to establish it and sustain it
with justice and righteousness
    now and forever.
The zeal of Yahweh of hosts will do this."  Is 9

Believe HIM and enter his rest.

the Four Needs: Control

i don’t wanna put on my Tom Cruise School of Psychology hat here but if Comfort Kids were weaned too early and held too little, then Control Kids often seem to have grown up in chaotic households.  Fear dominates.  Anxiety dominates.  The desire for Safety becomes a ruling need.  Protection.  Security.  Control.

God is not big enough.  God is not good enough.  Trust in God but lock your doors.  i have to do it because others are too careless.  i can’t do that because well, what if…?  You can’t do that because what if…?  Rules are good.  Laws are good.  Walls are good.  We must keep that out there and this in here manageable.  We must keep them out there and everyone in here needs to toe the line.  Power is only good if it is outside the wall or governed by the law or safe here in my own little paw.  Might ruffle a feather or two here but i think this is why many of us want to carry a gun.  It’s not the gun we crave and they are not evil because all things are pure for those who are pure and besides, guns is cool!  It’s the sense of power over chaos.  It’s the sense of control they give us.  When it hits the fan, I’ll have options.  I’ll be one of the ones deciding things.  Not a slave to anyone.  Not a victim.  The greatest commandment Control etches into the shivering stone of our hearts is “Thou shalt not be a Victim… again.”  

And thus, Control is an infant king.  The Man corrupted.  The son of man who never stopped being afraid, who never stopped being small, who never trusted the goodness and love of the Father.  “And God said, “Let us make humankind in our image and according to our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of heaven, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every moving thing that moves upon the earth.” So God created humankind in his image, in the likeness of God he created him, male and female he created them. And God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it, and rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of heaven, and over every animal that moves upon the earth.”  (Gen 1)  Man was made ruler over the earth, to fill and subdue but trust was broken and in our arrogance, we treat God as if he were the one who broke it.  As if He can’t be trusted.  Control looks out upon it all now and said, ‘chaos! No one can rule this!’ and it retreats to an enclave.  It builds a tower to keep all of its chicks home.  To keep from ever getting lost.  It cries, “There are giants in the land and we are but grasshoppers!”  It says wealth keeps me safe, keeps me in control, i cannot part with it, i must have my nest egg for rainy days.  Control is an insomniac; waking many times in the night needing to be comforted but with eyes fiercely tight, little walls to keep out the dark, it never sees the Father standing over.  It says my party must be in power for yours doesn’t have my interests at heart.  It says i have to be in charge because you cannot be trusted.  It hovers over its children’s educations for what if they aren’t equipped?  What if they are exposed to something i don’t approve of?  What if they are bullied?  It wears suspenders and a belt with drawstring sweats.  It buys security systems and insurance policies and security systems for its insurance policies.  It keeps the job it hates because, better the devil i know...  It moves to the suburbs and then it moves to the mountains when the roads get too crowded.  It risks nothing, smothers what it loves and condemns all that disturb the order.  It loves tradition and hates change.  It inherits an empire built by adventurers and micro manages it into the ground because it’s afraid to lose any of it.

Three times God told Joshua, “be strong and courageous.”  Joshua.  No slouch by any means.  A warrior tested and true.  A spirit filled disciple of Moses himself.  Joshua, “Be strong and very courageous.”  And again, “Did I not command you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not fear or be dismayed for Yahweh your God is with you wherever you go.”  Why?  Why three times?  Why does every time God describes himself, he uses words like ‘faithful’ and ‘loyal’?  Why does the person with OCD check fifteen times to see if the toaster is unplugged and then lie awake in bed worrying about fire?

Because they don’t believe.  And neither do we.

i am god in a church of one

You cannot be born alone.  Chances are your mother was there, if not others.

Hopefully you were born into a family, but even if your mother abandoned you, you are still here so someone took care of you.  You were born into a group.  You were born under authority, someone to watch over and show you the way.  Regardless of how good a job they did, it was someone’s responsibility.

You went to school, even if it was at home, you had teachers, you were under authority, someone to watch over you and show you the way.  Regardless of how perfect they aren’t, it was someone’s responsibility.

It is virtually impossible to make a living apart from others.  Chances are, if you work, you work for someone, with someone, there are authorities, people to watch over you and show you the way.  Regardless of whether or not they are qualified, it is someone’s responsibility.

When you come to the end, you will need someone, someone with authority over you, to watch over you and show you the way.  Regardless of whether they do it in love or obligation, it is someone’s responsibility.

No where in our lives do we ever go it alone.  No one, anywhere is an authority unto themselves, we call those who think they are tyrants. 

No where in our lives are we ever under the authority of perfect people.  All of them make mistakes.  All of them do both good and bad, damage and help.

And yet, when it comes to God and faith, suddenly we think this occurs in a vacuum.  We are under no authority.  No one can teach us.  No one can show us the way.  No one is qualified, no one is loving, no one is good, no one is perfect enough.

Except us.

Who you calling crazy?

i often hear that it is rational to have doubt. That it is not only logical to approach faith with skepticism but it is functionally the only way to faith. "Faith is believing in something you know ain't so," according to Mr. Twain.

But is this true? No offense, but i approach that line of thinking with more than just skepticism, i downright call it cuckoo in the cabeza. And here's why...

If God is talking directly to you and telling you exactly what He's going to do, like, i dunno, destroy a couple of cities with fiery hail and you even see Him do it and you go and try to make his promises happen another way cause you think He needs you to help Him out... that's nuts.

If God totally tells you how He's going to systematically decimate a country, bring you out of it, through the Red Sea and destroy your enemies in it and you see Him do it and then you whine about Him not giving you water when you want it... that's ludicrous.

If God sends fire from heaven and destroys a sacrifice and altar right in front of you to prove He's God and you continue to ignore Him and worship rocks, sticks and metal, that's stupid.

If God shows up in the form of a man, teaches the most amazing things you've ever heard, calms storms with a word, heals every disease known to man, drives out demons and you don't believe He can feed a few thousand people when He says to, that's willful blindness.

If God thought you up, gave you life, gave you sunshine, seasons, rain, food, breath, family, friends and all kinds of other things you don't ever think about coming from anywhere; and He did not think just being God was good enough cuz you were lost but He gave up His Godhood, became a man and died in your place just so you could rise from the dead and be with Him forever and you doubt His goodness or His love and devotion to you because you're not sure where the money's coming from or you've gotten sick or some folk treat you mean...that's just goofy.

It is not doubt that helps us get out of the boat and walk on water, it's not doubt that let's us trust when all earthly evidence fails, it's not doubt that saves or teaches us about love, it's not doubt that enables us to follow a fiery pillar or go into battle with a thousand to one odds.Can you be a son or daughter and doubt, sadly, yes. You can profess with your lips what you don't actually believe with your heart. But why would you want to?

Why i'm excited that i went bald: Part One

Two punks switching the spark plug wires of a '79 Suzuki GS 550 as a prank.

Jesus telling the rich young ruler to go home, sell all he owns and give it to the poor.

Going bald.

What do these things have in common?

Love.

The point was made to me that our fears are fundamentally linked to our idols. i fear confrontation, i fear pain, i fear failure because my god is comfort, security and people thinking well of me. When i perform, it is not just for someone else's benefit. i can't even lead worship without serving the god of praise for myself. That's how sick i am, how entwined with the temple prostitutes i have been. i want people to be wowed by me. i want to be significant. i want people to think i'm special. It's why i have to prove i'm right when i argue and it's why, when i argue, i try and use humor to keep it friendly. i learned to be moral because the people i respected valued that and it kept me out of trouble with my folks and a righteous God who demanded it. Heck, it's why i blog.

Well, that's only partially true. i would do this even if no one read it. But that's a different issue. But it's why i check it every day to see if someone left a comment.

When i was a kid, i was not cool. i'm still not cool but i'm a middle aged, white guy going to seed, and a lot of that pressure is off. But back when being cool was cool, i was not. Nor was i able to figure out what made one cool. When i tried to be cool, i failed miserably and actually became more of a laughing stock. Eventually i moved and thought this would help, no one would know my past, i could reinvent myself. It might have, a little, but nature shows through, a dweeb by any other name still reeks of fail. By stroke of grace, i was taken as a disciple of the Keith. The Keith was cool, you could tell because he had to be bussed to a different school much further away because he'd already been kicked out of ours. The Keith didn't care what people thought of him. This, i learned, was the epitome of cool. i began to stop caring what people thought of me too. i grew my hair long. i got an earring. Cuz that's what us guys that didn't care what you thought of us did.

If your irony sensors are going off it's cuz you are well versed in Greek Tragedy. Yes, i cultivated an entire personality around the disdain for what the world held dear and celebrated my freedom from society and what "they" thought. Only, i did care. i cared what the Keith thought and i cultivated an aura of apathy carefully because i realized i gained a certain amount of respect from it. On senior day, when other sophs were being called out of class to be tormented and hazed, i stalked by, bored scowl, pony tail, knee high moccasins and trenchcoat, unmolested. i was not loved, but i was left alone. It was a runners up prize i would accept because secretly i feared i was not lovable anyhow. Not by those i wanted to be loved by. Many other folk who weren't as cool as they wished thought i was kinda cool. My idol devalued the love i of friends i truly did have and caused me to focus on those who would never accept me as one of theirs so i learned to devalue them. i was worthless, my idol made my own friends worthless and my hurt made everyone else worthless.

Cynicism runs strong in my family.

After i graduated i discovered motorcycles. i became obsessed with the idea of becoming not just a motorcyclist, one who rode a bike, but a biker. It had to be a lifestyle, a personality. The black leather, the two foot long mohawk, saddlebags and a horizon became my dream and i wasted days, months, years on it. Really, i have the sketches to prove it.

i used to have an expression, "God likes to kick out crutches." i formed this idea around the concept that God want's me to lean on Him alone. A crutch is anything that i use instead of Him. While essentially accurate, i think, it is a false portrayal of Him and His motives. When Jesus kicked a crutch, the person walked, not fell down. The ten commandments mention pretty early on that God is a jealous God. He won't tolerate that which is rightfully His being given to another. We often portray this as petty. God is this angry guy who gets tic'd off at being dissed. Or he's some kind of megalomaniac who thinks that it's all about Him. What does He think He is? God? i know, right?

But what if He's a husband who isn't too keen on sharing His wife with her abusive lovers? What if He's a father who doesn't sit idle as his kid takes up a violently destructive and dehumanizing drug habit?

The first thing that had to go was the motorcycles. My first one was sabotaged. After that, i could never spend enough to keep it running for long. My second stayed running just long enough for my brother-in-arms Wayward to earn the right to kick off society's training wheels and then it died too. My third bike is another post altogether. Every time i tried to take step one in fulfilling my dream, they died and i became the dangerous image of a two year old's tantrum in a one hundred and sixty pound monkey frame. Eventually i got the message and one by one they all disappeared from my yard.

Around this time i started noting that my once enviously luxurious mane was becoming a partially shucked corn cob. There weren't enough vines clinging to the pumpkin to merit a rake anymore and eventually i did what every self respecting man ought to do at that point, i got out the clippers and finished the job. It felt weird, it felt naked. i was exposed for what i was: a pencil necked dweeb.

When Jesus told the rich young ruler to go home and sell all his possessions, we are told that he went away sorrowful, for he had many possessions. i had given up what God told me to give up, my freedom, my dream, my identity, both metaphorically in getting married, and physically in getting rid of the bikes. i was obeying, and yet, i went away bitter. i wonder, did any of the disciples follow Jesus around with a bad attitude half the time? One that had given up everything to follow Jesus and was feeling like he'd gotten the short end of the deal?

Probably one, Judas. Fortunately for me, God wasn't done with me yet...

Know for Certain

“Know for certain that for four hundred years your descendants will be strangers in a country not their own and that they will be enslaved and mistreated there. ¹⁴ But I will punish the nation they serve as slaves, and afterward they will come out with great possessions. ¹⁵ You, however, will go to your ancestors in peace and be buried at a good old age. ¹⁶ In the fourth generation your descendants will come back here, for the sin of the Amorites has not yet reached its full measure.”

These are words God told Abraham way back in Genesis 15. When one looks backwards at prophecy fulfilled there's not a lot of awe. Our natural reaction is somewhere along the lines of, "duh. I saw the Ten Commandments and/or Prince of Egypt. Who doesn't know that?" What we forget is that, Abraham hadn't seen those movies. He was a little behind with Netflix. He was talking to God and God was telling him what was going to happen in the next four hundred years. Wow. That had to be mind blowing. Too bad God doesn't tell us what's going to happen now, huh? Right?

Only he does. God's always telling us what's going to happen. It's one of the ways He proves He is God, in control and immutable. God never saw something happen and said, "Oh myself! I totally didn't see that coming!" Quite the opposite. He warns us all the time what's coming so that we can be faithful and confident in Him and His power. Setting aside even the prophecies that have yet to be fulfilled, we'll deal with them later, let's go back and look at His words to Abe.

"Why?" you may ask. "This prophecy was fulfilled. There's nothing here for us apart from a bit of history and an object lesson. What can five thousand year old words tell us today?"

1. First, they tell us that it's pretty freakin' amazing that we have a recorded conversation that occurred five thousand years ago! That's not really my point, it just now hit me how wild that is. Sorry.
2. This conversation is between God and man. God took some time out of His day to talk to his created child. Don't lose the awe of that! That right there should tell you something vital about His nature. He wants us to know some things. He doesn't want us kept in ignorance. He wants us to know Him and so He talks with us. And what does He say?
3. "Know for certain..." See, don't wonder, KNOW. I'm gonna tell you.
4. "...for four hundred years your descendants will be strangers in a country not their own and that they will be enslaved and mistreated there." He knows our plight. Not only that, but He's allowing it...for a while. For you see...
5. "But I will punish the nation they serve as slaves," He's keeping records and nobody's getting away with anything. You are His and while it may not feel like He's protecting you, He doesn't take lightly anything done to you. Our best guess as to when the Exodus happened was right after Pepi II's reign. A guy named Merenre II, believed to be his son took power for only one year. Archeologists have no idea what happened to him (cause they're not looking on the bottom of the Red Sea) but they know that his reign began something called the First Intermediate Period. A one hundred and fifty year Dark Ages for Egypt that kicked off with famine, plague, looting, chaos, an end of international trade, art and building and civil war. Just the kind of thing you may think would happen after: the Nile turns to blood; having enough of blood, the frogs abandon the Nile for the people's homes; dust becomes gnats all over everyone's faces; God ups the ante and adds flies to the gnats (i'm picturing those freakin greenhead ones that bite you in the center of your back and even draw blood); a disease strikes the Egyptian livestock; boils cover the Egyptians; a hailstorm kills everyone outside; locusts finish off the Egyptian crops; God sends darkness upon the Egyptians, darkness that can be felt (i have no idea what that is but it sounds creepy); all the firstborn who are not protected by the blood of an unspotted, innocent lamb die in one night (remember what i was saying about God telling the same story over and over again?)
6. "...afterward they will come out with great possessions." God compensates his. That generation, who had known nothing but slavery, oppression and poverty, in one day was free and rich beyond they're dreams.
7. "You, however, will go to your ancestors in peace and be buried at a good old age." A lot of times, when God really digs you, He spares you from coming tragedy altogether. (Enosh, Noah, Abe, Lot, Elijah, Daniel, the Rapture)
8. "In the fourth generation your descendants will come back here, for the sin of the Amorites has not yet reached its full measure." God's got a plan and a limit. He's merciful. He tolerated the Amorites nonsense for four hundred years until their sin just got so putrid He'd had enough and He wasn't going to let them pollute the rest of the world with it any longer. Many like to paint this as a portrait of God's genocidal nature. Few see it as mercy and justice. What was the final straw for God. How do you know when you've finally pushed Him too far? Seems like a good thing to know right? What is the last recorded act of Pepi II in the Bible? The slaughtering of the Israelite children. What religious rites were the Canaanite's known for? Temple harlotry and child sacrifice. "But he walked in the way of the kings of Israel; indeed he made his son pass through the fire, according to the abominations of the nations whom the LORD had cast out from before the children of Israel." (2 Kings 16) "Moreover you took your sons and your daughters, whom you bore to Me, and these you sacrificed to them to be devoured. Were your acts of harlotry a small matter, that you have slain My children and offered them up to them by causing them to pass through the fire?" (Ezek 16) Is it really psychopathic genocide to wipe out a people who kill their own kids? Would you want to live next door to them? Go to school with them? Have them serve on your town council?

As sexual promiscuity and perversion become the norm and abortion statistics become more staggering and sad, one (one being me) wonders how much more of US will God take?

Next post: What is God still telling us? or How the answer to the last post is probably, "Not Much."